Mindfulness: To be aware of your own mind and body in the here and now.
This is something I am trying to do better as the days go by. I try to sit with all my emotions (good and bad) and use all my senses to understand those feelings. It is not an easy thing to do. Especially when having "negative" feelings like sadness and anger. I put negative in quotation marks because it is okay to be sad and/or angry, but many people consider these bad or negative feelings because they don't feel good. But these are the emotions that I need to learn to sit with and understand and cope with. Most people have initial reactions to feelings of sadness or anger. Some people write or talk about it. Some people turn to drugs and/or alcohol. And other people hurt themselves. There are many ways to cope with your feelings... and I am trying to be mindful of my feelings and cope with them in positive ways instead of what my initial reactions have been in the past. How do I feel? Why am I angry/sad? What are my thoughts? How can I cope with this anger and sadness? What can I do to react differently the next time a similar situation comes along? How do I change my behavior? What is going on underneath all these thoughts?
I want to become aware of more than just my passing thoughts (which are usually negative in nature). Being mindful means paying great attention to every part of your being... looking past the initial thoughts that you have and see everything else. I don't want to feel broken anymore. I want to feel full and happy with love and compassion. Everybody has this within them... nobody is broken. Some people just need to work harder than others to become fully aware and actualized. This is my goal. Of course stay aware and recognize the thoughts and feelings I have that lead to my behaviors... but also look deep within myself in every moment. Meditation is a good way to start to do this. Because of my racing and ruminating thoughts, I have always had a difficult time meditating. But if it will lead to a pure, full, happy life... I will work my ass off at perfecting it. I have to remember that it is okay if other thoughts get in the way... and not get mad at myself for having the thoughts. I just have to start over, ground myself, and open my mind and body to experience all of myself and the world around me.
I am finally feeling like I am diagnosed correctly and on the right medications. It took being inpatient 2 weeks at Butler, one week at the RI Hospital Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP), one week at RIH inpatient at Jane Brown, and then another week at the RIH PHP. I have been in hospitalization treatment since January 5th and my last day at the PHP will hopefully be next Tuesday, February 14. The only thing that might prevent me from leaving is finding outpatient providers... a therapist and psychiatrist that accept Medicaid. So, my diagnoses are Bipolar I Disorder, OCD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. And my medications are Anafranil, Seroquel XR, and Klonopin. I am feeling much better, but I have a lot to work on in therapy and on my own... and being mindful is just one of the many coping skills I will be using to continue to get better.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Friday, December 2, 2011
New Med, Therapy, and Beginning a Relationship
It's been a while since I wrote a very personal blog post. I have been having trouble gathering my thoughts and putting them together into something somewhat clear. But now, I feel like that is gone and I can express myself again.
I started a new antidepressant medication called Viibryd. It is the newest, greatest drug on the market (according to my psychiatrist). It is not classified as a SSRI, SNRI, or tricyclic antidepressant... but it is known to effect serotonin in the brain. The first 2 weeks starting the medication was horrible. I had severe side effects (restlessness/restless leg, confusion, difficulty sleeping, rapid heart rate, and jitteriness). But I toughed it out until I titrated up to the known effective dose of 40mg. After the first 2 weeks, the side effects lessened greatly. I still have some heart palpitations, but nothing too bad... and definitely not worse than the palpitations I get when having a panic attack. I am finally starting to see the positive effects of taking the Viibryd. I feel less depressed, I am more assertive, and I feel like I have some control over my mood. I am not going to lie... I am still somewhat depressed, but not like I was a month ago. Rarely do I have thoughts of hurting myself or suicidal ideation. I am hoping that I continue to feel better slowly but surely. My manic/hypomanic symptoms have been under control with Seroquel XR and my anxiety is mostly under control with my Klonopin. My self-injurious behaviors have been under control with naltrexone since starting it about 3 months ago. I still have the thoughts now and again, but the urge and craving to cut or hurt myself is gone. It makes me a little doped up, but it is worth it. Though I do miss the actual activity of cutting myself. Now, I hope, my depression will be under control with the Viibryd. I am also taking Ambien for sleep, which probably makes me less depressed because I am actually sleeping more than 3-4 hours a night. The only problem is that Viibryd does not have a patient assistance program at this point. So I have to get samples from my doctor.
I don't know if it was the new med or what, but I am becoming more assertive. I "fired" my therapist at The Kent Center last week. She was doing nothing for me... using basic behavioral therapy. Behavioral Therapy is usually used with low functioning, schizophrenic, or PTSD patients. I told her from the beginning that I do better with CBT, DBT, or existential therapy. But she never listened to me. When Sadie, my ferret, passed away, she only let me talk about her for 10 minutes and then said that we have to talk about positive things like the beautiful trees and landscapes... and not focus on the negative. She would cut me off in the middle of a story or whatever that was bothering me or making me feel bad and tell me to look at the fucking trees. I swear, if she told me one more time to look at the beautiful trees, I would have gone outside, snapped a branch off, and whacked her in the head with it. Ugh. She also had me do homework assignments that she never looked at or talked about with me. The last appointment I had with her, my homework was to fill a piece of paper with positive things about myself on one side and positive things about the world on the other side. Even though I had told her that it doesn't work for me and I've done it in the past with no success. I did it anyway and ended up throwing it into the garbage in front of her in anger. At our last appointment, I decided it was time to tell her everything that was bothering me. I cried throughout the whole appointment, but I told her that I get nothing out of the appointments with her, that I actually feel worse when I leave there, and that she doesn't even listen to me. I told her that a good therapist will listen to their clients and then offer their opinion or advice after hearing what they had to say. I told her that just because she is a lesbian doesn't mean she knows squat about transgender issues... and that my issues do not even surround my transition anymore. She told me this one story during one of our first appointments about her friend "Amy" who is now called "Zack." She said that her friend fell in love with a woman, and because she grew up conservative catholic, that she decided to become trans. I was so shocked that she was telling me this personal story about someone I don't know and being so ignorant and unaccepting of her friend's identity. Un-freaking-believable. So... after crying and being assertive, my therapist told me that I can either ask for another therapist or go somewhere else to seek treatment. I decided to make a few calls and am in the process of trying to find a new therapist. But I am proud of myself for standing up and being assertive (something I would never have been able to do years or even months ago). Except when I asked for a new therapist after seeing my FIRST therapist at The Kent Center. He would actual say transphobic remarks to me in our sessions. Trying to refer me to support groups for "people like you. you know, ones who have gone through the change." And not just saying that once. But saying the same thing multiple times when I would tell him over and over again that I need a group for people with bipolar, depression, anxiety, and/or isolation problems. It's like... if you are intelligent, you can't possibly have a severe mental illness and be in crisis... therefore we'll put you on the back burner when it comes to getting a psychiatrist and a competent therapist. I'm trying not to let that happen to me anymore. I need some real professional treatment.
Another positive thing in my life right now is the presence of a cute bear boyfriend. His name is Tom and we just started dating this week. We talked online for about a month, had a few dates, and had some great and amazing conversations and connections. The sex was amazing too. So, we decided to be boyfriends... in an open relationship for now. I am very happy about it. He treats me like a prince... telling me how hot, smart, nice, and wonderful I am. I am really scared about it too though. I'm scared to open my heart up again. I was hurt not too long ago and I am still mending from that "relationship" if you can call it that. And Tom and I are going kind of fast. We talked today about slowing it down. I told him that I don't want things to stop, I want to keep seeing him. I'm not backing off... I'm just not quite ready to move forward yet. Hence the open relationship. I don't think he likes that idea though... and is just doing it for me. I'll probably scare off the nicest guy who's been interested in me for more than sex in a really really long time. I don't know what I am doing. I'm confused and scared. It's hard.
I started a new antidepressant medication called Viibryd. It is the newest, greatest drug on the market (according to my psychiatrist). It is not classified as a SSRI, SNRI, or tricyclic antidepressant... but it is known to effect serotonin in the brain. The first 2 weeks starting the medication was horrible. I had severe side effects (restlessness/restless leg, confusion, difficulty sleeping, rapid heart rate, and jitteriness). But I toughed it out until I titrated up to the known effective dose of 40mg. After the first 2 weeks, the side effects lessened greatly. I still have some heart palpitations, but nothing too bad... and definitely not worse than the palpitations I get when having a panic attack. I am finally starting to see the positive effects of taking the Viibryd. I feel less depressed, I am more assertive, and I feel like I have some control over my mood. I am not going to lie... I am still somewhat depressed, but not like I was a month ago. Rarely do I have thoughts of hurting myself or suicidal ideation. I am hoping that I continue to feel better slowly but surely. My manic/hypomanic symptoms have been under control with Seroquel XR and my anxiety is mostly under control with my Klonopin. My self-injurious behaviors have been under control with naltrexone since starting it about 3 months ago. I still have the thoughts now and again, but the urge and craving to cut or hurt myself is gone. It makes me a little doped up, but it is worth it. Though I do miss the actual activity of cutting myself. Now, I hope, my depression will be under control with the Viibryd. I am also taking Ambien for sleep, which probably makes me less depressed because I am actually sleeping more than 3-4 hours a night. The only problem is that Viibryd does not have a patient assistance program at this point. So I have to get samples from my doctor.
I don't know if it was the new med or what, but I am becoming more assertive. I "fired" my therapist at The Kent Center last week. She was doing nothing for me... using basic behavioral therapy. Behavioral Therapy is usually used with low functioning, schizophrenic, or PTSD patients. I told her from the beginning that I do better with CBT, DBT, or existential therapy. But she never listened to me. When Sadie, my ferret, passed away, she only let me talk about her for 10 minutes and then said that we have to talk about positive things like the beautiful trees and landscapes... and not focus on the negative. She would cut me off in the middle of a story or whatever that was bothering me or making me feel bad and tell me to look at the fucking trees. I swear, if she told me one more time to look at the beautiful trees, I would have gone outside, snapped a branch off, and whacked her in the head with it. Ugh. She also had me do homework assignments that she never looked at or talked about with me. The last appointment I had with her, my homework was to fill a piece of paper with positive things about myself on one side and positive things about the world on the other side. Even though I had told her that it doesn't work for me and I've done it in the past with no success. I did it anyway and ended up throwing it into the garbage in front of her in anger. At our last appointment, I decided it was time to tell her everything that was bothering me. I cried throughout the whole appointment, but I told her that I get nothing out of the appointments with her, that I actually feel worse when I leave there, and that she doesn't even listen to me. I told her that a good therapist will listen to their clients and then offer their opinion or advice after hearing what they had to say. I told her that just because she is a lesbian doesn't mean she knows squat about transgender issues... and that my issues do not even surround my transition anymore. She told me this one story during one of our first appointments about her friend "Amy" who is now called "Zack." She said that her friend fell in love with a woman, and because she grew up conservative catholic, that she decided to become trans. I was so shocked that she was telling me this personal story about someone I don't know and being so ignorant and unaccepting of her friend's identity. Un-freaking-believable. So... after crying and being assertive, my therapist told me that I can either ask for another therapist or go somewhere else to seek treatment. I decided to make a few calls and am in the process of trying to find a new therapist. But I am proud of myself for standing up and being assertive (something I would never have been able to do years or even months ago). Except when I asked for a new therapist after seeing my FIRST therapist at The Kent Center. He would actual say transphobic remarks to me in our sessions. Trying to refer me to support groups for "people like you. you know, ones who have gone through the change." And not just saying that once. But saying the same thing multiple times when I would tell him over and over again that I need a group for people with bipolar, depression, anxiety, and/or isolation problems. It's like... if you are intelligent, you can't possibly have a severe mental illness and be in crisis... therefore we'll put you on the back burner when it comes to getting a psychiatrist and a competent therapist. I'm trying not to let that happen to me anymore. I need some real professional treatment.
Another positive thing in my life right now is the presence of a cute bear boyfriend. His name is Tom and we just started dating this week. We talked online for about a month, had a few dates, and had some great and amazing conversations and connections. The sex was amazing too. So, we decided to be boyfriends... in an open relationship for now. I am very happy about it. He treats me like a prince... telling me how hot, smart, nice, and wonderful I am. I am really scared about it too though. I'm scared to open my heart up again. I was hurt not too long ago and I am still mending from that "relationship" if you can call it that. And Tom and I are going kind of fast. We talked today about slowing it down. I told him that I don't want things to stop, I want to keep seeing him. I'm not backing off... I'm just not quite ready to move forward yet. Hence the open relationship. I don't think he likes that idea though... and is just doing it for me. I'll probably scare off the nicest guy who's been interested in me for more than sex in a really really long time. I don't know what I am doing. I'm confused and scared. It's hard.
Monday, November 21, 2011
TDOR and after thoughts
on this year's transgender day of remembrance... thinking back to when i came out... not only did i have struggles within myself, but struggles i encountered from the community at RIC and at home and with my friends and family. i think, learning from other FTMs and the trans-positive people i met, i came to understand what it means to be myself. at first, it felt like (for me anyway) that all FTMs had to fit in certain boxes based on their desire for a medical transition (or what stage of medical transition they were in) and their sexual orientation. but as the time passes, the years come and go, i learned that i am just a person living on this earth... strong, passionate, and kind. born and raised female, identifying and living as male, i have a unique view on life. and i am just ME... i can use words to try and describe who i am: a transman, a bear cub, gay, submissive, a brother, a son, an uncle, a friend, an animal lover, etc., etc. but really, all i can say is that who i am comes from within, from within my heart and soul. my love for certain things masculine and feminine and androgynous is just who i am. i like stereotypical boy things like sports and video games. i am also stereotypically "girly" by being compassionate, good with children and animals, and being a kind and gentle person. but of course a girl can like sports and a boy can be gentle and kind. i don't believe in god, but i do believe i was born this way. i have always been a boy... even when i was living as a girl. but being raised as a girl has allowed me to express my feelings, to cry at sad movies, and to listen and be compassionate as a man. i am lucky in this sense. not too many boys are raised this way.
i am also thankful for the safety of my fellow transgender friends. i feel lucky that we have not met the fate that some other trans people have met. usually an overly violent and early death just for being themselves. i cried a little last night for all of the people who's names were read off the list due to their untimely, violent, and unnecessary murder that happened this year. i feel lucky that i can walk down the street here in RI and be who i am without any repercussions. i am usually seen in the light i want to be seen in. and the most i get from ignorant people is just the lack of understanding how i could possibly be a MAN who loves/has sex with other MEN. why would i "go through the change" as most of them said, if i am interested in being with men and not women. after explaining the difference between gender and sexual attraction, most people "get it." but i think i am also fortunate to have that outcome as well. the most hate i experienced was verbal or written attacks, college kids yelling "faggot" at me or writing "faggot" on the Rainbow Alliance office door, a "good" friend calling me a "freak," and the few people who continued to call me "Kelly" and "she" after asking them to change.
but with all that, i still consider myself a lucky man. i send positive energy to all my trans brothers and sisters and genderqueers. not one of us deserve the pain and suffering many trans people came to experience. i send positive energy out to the victim's families and friends as well. i hope that next year's list will be shorter or not exist at all. i can't wait for the day we will not have to have a day of remembrance.
**********
on a happier note, it was good to see some transpeople and allies that i had not seen in a while or just met in person for the first time yesterday. a shout out to bear providence and greg for coming to support our cause. my self esteem was lifted quite a bit just hearing about the welcoming i would probably receive from the bear community. and from the mild flirting of a very handsome gay bear. hehe. :-) no more excuses... i will go to the next free/low cost bear providence event!! and i can't wait for those t-bear/cub t-chirts to come out!! :-D
i am also thankful for the safety of my fellow transgender friends. i feel lucky that we have not met the fate that some other trans people have met. usually an overly violent and early death just for being themselves. i cried a little last night for all of the people who's names were read off the list due to their untimely, violent, and unnecessary murder that happened this year. i feel lucky that i can walk down the street here in RI and be who i am without any repercussions. i am usually seen in the light i want to be seen in. and the most i get from ignorant people is just the lack of understanding how i could possibly be a MAN who loves/has sex with other MEN. why would i "go through the change" as most of them said, if i am interested in being with men and not women. after explaining the difference between gender and sexual attraction, most people "get it." but i think i am also fortunate to have that outcome as well. the most hate i experienced was verbal or written attacks, college kids yelling "faggot" at me or writing "faggot" on the Rainbow Alliance office door, a "good" friend calling me a "freak," and the few people who continued to call me "Kelly" and "she" after asking them to change.
but with all that, i still consider myself a lucky man. i send positive energy to all my trans brothers and sisters and genderqueers. not one of us deserve the pain and suffering many trans people came to experience. i send positive energy out to the victim's families and friends as well. i hope that next year's list will be shorter or not exist at all. i can't wait for the day we will not have to have a day of remembrance.
**********
on a happier note, it was good to see some transpeople and allies that i had not seen in a while or just met in person for the first time yesterday. a shout out to bear providence and greg for coming to support our cause. my self esteem was lifted quite a bit just hearing about the welcoming i would probably receive from the bear community. and from the mild flirting of a very handsome gay bear. hehe. :-) no more excuses... i will go to the next free/low cost bear providence event!! and i can't wait for those t-bear/cub t-chirts to come out!! :-D
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Life's Anxieties and Depression
Things have been difficult lately. My father had a heart attack on Sunday. He is still in the hospital for observation and will be out of work for a month to recover. It was a major heart attack where they had to do an angioplasty and put 2 stents in his vein. It is really scary. Heart disease runs on his side of my family. Both of my grandparents had heart attacks and strokes that led to their death. We are lucky that my Mom was with him when it happened... because my Dad is a stubborn guy who can tough out anything. But the pain he had was so bad that even he agreed to go to the hospital. It's hard seeing my Dad laying in a hospital bed with tubes and wires all over him. He is almost 56 years old. His mother died at 60 and his father in his early 70's. It worries me to think about my Dad's mortality. Time for some major life changes.... a new diet, medications, less/no alcohol, and taking it easy.
I know I have to be strong for my Dad (and my Mom). But it is difficult. I have been really depressed and anxious and this hasn't helped. But I know that I cannot hurt myself or go into the psych hospital or anything because I don't want to bring any more stress on my Dad.
I am taking some new medications. Pristiq, a new anti-depressant, is on the list. It's been a few months and I don't feel much of a change in my mood. I just started a higher dose of 200mg to see if that works before trying anything else. I am also taking Ambien for sleep now. It works great. I am falling asleep and waking up at decent hours. I still wake up throughout the night, but I am getting a decent amount of sleep. I also started a new medication called naltrexone. It is usually used for addiction to stop the cravings for alcohol or opiates. But it has been found to be useful in people who have self-injurious behaviors. So, it has been 3 weeks since starting it... and I haven't had the urge to cut or hurt myself since the first dose! I have had the thoughts, but very minor. But absolutely no cravings or urges to cut or hurt myself in any other way. I am glad that I am not having the urges... but I do miss it. I miss the feeling of hurting myself and what it does for me... the release of tension, the calmness I feel, the blood and the scars/marks... all make me feel good. I do miss that. But I know that I need to use better coping mechanisms than hurting myself.
That brings me to talking about my new therapist. She is okay... but definitely doesn't understand my anxiety and depression. She doesn't understand how much relationships with people affect me, my mood, and my anxiety. She is trying to use behavioral therapy, when I know that therapies like talk therapy, CBT, and existentialism work better for me. She also doesn't want to see me weekly... which sucks. But I will tell her at our next appointment that I need to see her weekly and the types of therapies that have worked for me in the past. One good thing about her is that she is understanding of the GLBT community (she is a lesbian). I hope things work out with her and that she takes what I tell her and helps me the best way possible. I don't want to end up in the hospital again... and I can feel myself heading down that road. I have suicidal thoughts, but no plan. I have friends that I make safety contracts with (meaning I promise them that I will be safe and not hurt myself for the day). And if I do feel like hurting myself or worse, I know I have people I can go to.
I need to find the right combination of medications and therapy to get better.
Right now I am in the appeal process of applying for SSDI. I was denied in the first application (just like everyone is), but both my doctors and lawyers are confident that I will be accepted during this appeal. I can't wait to get some income, and the backpay of course. I am thinking about moving to California once I get it. I'm gonna start checking out the costs and stuff and see if it looks feasible for me. I think getting out of this state for a little while would be good for me.
I know I have to be strong for my Dad (and my Mom). But it is difficult. I have been really depressed and anxious and this hasn't helped. But I know that I cannot hurt myself or go into the psych hospital or anything because I don't want to bring any more stress on my Dad.
I am taking some new medications. Pristiq, a new anti-depressant, is on the list. It's been a few months and I don't feel much of a change in my mood. I just started a higher dose of 200mg to see if that works before trying anything else. I am also taking Ambien for sleep now. It works great. I am falling asleep and waking up at decent hours. I still wake up throughout the night, but I am getting a decent amount of sleep. I also started a new medication called naltrexone. It is usually used for addiction to stop the cravings for alcohol or opiates. But it has been found to be useful in people who have self-injurious behaviors. So, it has been 3 weeks since starting it... and I haven't had the urge to cut or hurt myself since the first dose! I have had the thoughts, but very minor. But absolutely no cravings or urges to cut or hurt myself in any other way. I am glad that I am not having the urges... but I do miss it. I miss the feeling of hurting myself and what it does for me... the release of tension, the calmness I feel, the blood and the scars/marks... all make me feel good. I do miss that. But I know that I need to use better coping mechanisms than hurting myself.
That brings me to talking about my new therapist. She is okay... but definitely doesn't understand my anxiety and depression. She doesn't understand how much relationships with people affect me, my mood, and my anxiety. She is trying to use behavioral therapy, when I know that therapies like talk therapy, CBT, and existentialism work better for me. She also doesn't want to see me weekly... which sucks. But I will tell her at our next appointment that I need to see her weekly and the types of therapies that have worked for me in the past. One good thing about her is that she is understanding of the GLBT community (she is a lesbian). I hope things work out with her and that she takes what I tell her and helps me the best way possible. I don't want to end up in the hospital again... and I can feel myself heading down that road. I have suicidal thoughts, but no plan. I have friends that I make safety contracts with (meaning I promise them that I will be safe and not hurt myself for the day). And if I do feel like hurting myself or worse, I know I have people I can go to.
I need to find the right combination of medications and therapy to get better.
Right now I am in the appeal process of applying for SSDI. I was denied in the first application (just like everyone is), but both my doctors and lawyers are confident that I will be accepted during this appeal. I can't wait to get some income, and the backpay of course. I am thinking about moving to California once I get it. I'm gonna start checking out the costs and stuff and see if it looks feasible for me. I think getting out of this state for a little while would be good for me.
What is Hate? (And How Does It Affect Us?)
According to Dictionary.com
Hate
verb (used with object)
1. to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry.
2. to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.
verb (used without object)
3. to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.
noun
4. intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.
5. the object of extreme aversion or hostility.
I note these definitions in response to a Facebook post about a very hateful and ignorant article on FoxNews.com about Chaz Bono being on Dancing With The Stars.
The title of the article is "Don't Let Your Kids Watch Chaz Bono On 'Dancing With the Stars'" by Dr. Keith Ablow. There were some disagreements among my friends about whether or not the article is considered hateful. In the article, this psychiatrist tells parents to not let their children watch Chaz Bono because it could make them transgender (they could "catch" gender dysphoria). He calls Chaz a woman and uses female pronouns throughout most of the article. The doctor claims that the transgender transition is not necessary and that a transgender person is "a very disordered person who endured, and likely will continue to endure, real suffering based on extraordinarily deep psychological problems." He continues to say that the person should endure intense psychological treatment (medication, hypnosis, spiritual counseling, etc.). He also states that Chaz has "a life that had veered, seemingly unavoidably, into a very dark place." Despite Chaz's increase in self esteem and happiness, this psychiatrist still pushes his unprofessional and hateful beliefs about transgender people onto everyone. I believe his ideas stem around a hate of the transgender transition process, thus creating hate among others, including those who are questioning their own gender identity (internal transphobia). All this ignorance from a psychiatrist! It's unbelievable!
There has been an ongoing petition and great growth in considering taking "Gender Dysphoria" out of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). I
Is Dr. Ablow's article hateful? Maybe, maybe not. But it is definitely not congruent with today's scientific research and professional beliefs about transgender people and their transitions.
We could also relate these issues with the increasing number of gay teen suicides due to bullying. Hate speech and ignorance fuel the fire of the already sensitive teenager... not to mention the young person who is struggling with their sexual or gender identity. Kids learn ignorance and hate from adults... they are not born that way... it is a learned behavior. AND IT HAS TO STOP!! Too many young, special lives have been taken away. Teach your children to love and be open and accepting of everybody's differences. We are all different... and that's what makes us special and important in so many ways. I am saddened everyday about the lives taken by bullying. We are reaching pandemic or plague type numbers. Something has to be done NOW!
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